Making a decision to have a baby is momentous; it is like making a lifetime commitment of selfless love and sacrifice for an individual you have never seen before. For this kind of commitment great mental preparation is needed, not only by the mother but by the father also. A father is as important as a mother in the child’s development. It is said that “a baby makes love stronger, the days shorter, the nights longer, savings smaller and a home happier!” having a baby is a great responsibility, but also the greatest joy a parents will experience in their life. Before taking such a life changing decision, introspection is very necessary for which these are some points.
11 Questions to Ask Yourself to Know if You’re Ready for a Baby
Why are we having the baby?
Having a baby should be completely decision of the couple. This decision should be taken because the couple wants to have a baby. They want to nurture their love. This decision should not be taken for someone. This decision should be taken by both the partners, if your partner feels it is not the right time, then talk to them but don’t force them. Sometimes you may this decision is taken just for the sake of your parents or because your friends are having a baby. Such decision holds you back from experiencing the real beauty of parenthood.
How is my relationship with my partner?
While planning a baby, you need to check your relationship with your partner first. Sometimes couples take the decision of having a baby feeling that a baby would solve the conflicts between them. But this decision should not be taken as a solution to anything. This decision has to be taken because you and your partner wish to. A baby will need both of its parents. The problems between parents create a lot of psychological stress to the baby. Studies have shown that children are more stressful and cannot work upto their full potential under this family stress. So be sure that problems between you do not cause any stress in your baby’s life!
Are we both on the same page?
This decision is not of a single parent. If you want to have a baby, but your partner doesn’t then do not force them. The baby is your both responsibility and it doesn’t mean just dividing the physical tasks of the baby. Baby should bond with both the parents. Both the parent should talk to the child, play with them and develop a unique bond with them. Children who share a great bond with their parent became more innovative, confident and develop their mental abilities a lot. This becomes possible as they know that both of their parents are with them. Hence even they give their best. Also some of your values, lessons and experience are incorporated in the child, which makes the child more developed and forward thinking. Hence both of the parents should spend proper time and maintain proper communication with the child.
Are we financially ready?
Financial stability is the most important materialistic aspect of having a baby. Financial planning has to be done well till the future. You should be stable enough that you know that you can fulfil your baby’s all the materialistic needs. The planning should not end just till the delivery, it should include the education of the child, their other interests, medications as well as an emergency financial help to your child.
Are we going to bring up a baby in this space?
Every parent wants their baby to grow in a perfect environment. Make sure where you want your baby to grow and plan accordingly. Finding of new places during pregnancy or after delivery might be exhausting. Hence discuss before hand with your partner.
Are we ready to make adjustments?
Having a baby is not just happiness, as a parent you have to be ready for making adjustments for your baby. Both of you should be ready for some scarifies and adjustment. Because a new individual is coming to this world and their complete responsibility is on you. Some opportunities will be left, some tears will be shred, but after all being a parent means not doing what is easy, it means doing what is best for your child.
Are we both ready for an individual’s responsibility?
Double check yourself as a complete new individual is coming. It will need attention, love, time, as well as money. It is very important that both of you should be ready for all the responsibilities. This responsibility should not be underestimated. Parents are the one who give shape to their child’s life, hence take this decision only if you both are ready to share the responsibility.
Are we ready for emergencies?
Parenting is full of surprises; no situation will warn and come. You have to be ready for all kind of emergencies. Most simple example can be, when you and your little one both are doing their work peacefully and suddenly that tiny person decides to jump from a table. It will cause a situation of panic and emergency. You have to be ready for all such situations, children have curious and a very unstable mind. It is very difficult to make them concentrate on a single task. Along with this you will have to be there with them in their low times. Hence a roller coaster ride is about to begin, being ready for it and there is no doubt you will enjoy it.
Are we physically capable to raise a child?
All the mental aspects were discussed. But being physically prepared is as important as being mentally prepared. You should consult your doctor before conceiving. This is mainly related to the mothers, as the baby is going to be directly dependent on her. She should not be suffering from any transmissible infections; otherwise the baby may face it. Also some genetic conditions are present which are transferred from father to children or mother to children, you should know about them. Hence consult a doctor before making this decision. Apart from this it is very important that mother takes care of herself, as anaemia, deficiency of vitamin or mineral might be proven dangerous to the baby. Hence be sure of your medical condition.
Is the mother ready for the pain and the changes in her body?
Pregnancy includes complete transformation of your body. A woman undergoes anatomical, physiological, metabolically, psychological as well as social changes. Delivery is going to be painful but after that painful procedure, your little one will be with you. You have to be prepared for all the changes. Consult your doctor to know more about the changes and how to be prepared for them.
Are we mature enough to be an individual’s guide, mentor and support?
Your child will look upon you as their mentor and guide. Hence you have to check what you do twice. Your child is going to learn from you. It will be observing you and learning from you unknowingly. Also you will have to stand by your child in their ups and downs. You will be the one teaching them how to be an adult. You will be shaping them and helping them through the most important phase of their life, which will build the foundation of their future. Hence it is very important for you to be mentally strong enough.
It is very important that you think about all aspects before having a baby. But do not over think. The moment a baby is born, a mother and father are also born, they both never existed before. Babies help us grow as a person; they make us more mature, more understanding, more selfless in short they make us a better person. They fill our life with happiness. Parenting is not at all easy but surely it is the best transition a human can get!